


Scribbulus Pt 2

by pat_o_cake



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 05:06:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15574428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pat_o_cake/pseuds/pat_o_cake
Summary: Howard & Vince discuss Deatheaters and drink tea.





	Scribbulus Pt 2

Vince passed Howard a mug of tea and they both slumped into the couch that took up most of the space in the back room, hidden from the rest of the shop by strings of bright, faceted beads. Although strictly a storeroom, Howard had worked a tricky charm that had enabled most of the stock to be contained in a rather unassuming draw. The rest of the space he’d dedicated to his vast collection of Jazz ephemera; musicians jerked silently on the walls and occasionally chased each other around, forming genre-specific cliques on either side of the room.

Vince sipped his tea and sighed. “So what’s been happening then?” He asked deflatedly.

Howard pondered where to start. It was a little awkward for him to explain on a level in which Vince could gauge the seriousness of the matter without resorting to sock-puppets.

“Well, like I said, You Know Who’s back. I mean really back. He’s been causing all sorts of trouble with muggles lately. Lots of folk have gone missing and just after you left Dumbledore was killed at Hogwarts. The Ministry of Magic seems to be doing nothing to help”. Howard paused, blowing across his tea. “Things just aren’t how they used to be Vince,” he said glumly. “It’s been a right tit of a summer”.

Vince frowned, biting his lower lip. “So what’s Voldie’s problem then? Why’s he being such an arse?”

Howard finger staccatoed to his lips with a hissing “Sssh!! Keep it down you pearly nonce or we’ll,..”

“Or what?” retorted Vince, looking disdainful. “He’s not going to bother with us is he?”

Howard looked concerned. Taking a gulp of tea, he explained. “He’s going after muggleborns. I’m keeping my head down right now, but there’s word of a muggleborn registration thing starting at the Ministry. There’s Deatheaters up there, pulling strings and whatnot and I’d rather not be in Azkaban if it’s all the same with you”. His moustache jittered uncomfortably on his lip. “You don’t have to worry about anything, pure blood family an all, but how is it going to look when I explain that my Dad’s a geography teacher from Leeds? He’s hardly going to want to place a stationary order is he?”

Vince looked a little abashed. “Sorry Howard” he said, producing a packet of biscuits from his coat pocket and offering him one. “Although not strictly true. You know I don’t like all the muggle hating stuff. My Dad was into all that nonsense. Used to be alright though, he made me a little papier-mâché mask once and took me out for the evening on a raid in the early 80’s. I didn’t know any better, I was off my face on Bertie’s beans.” Vince mused nostalgically. “I think he was only in it for artistic reasons”, he added, curling his thin wrist expressively. “Liked the look of the architectural projects they had planned before Voldie bummed himself with his own curse”.

Howard’s eyes disappeared temporarily in a succession of rapid blinks. “What? Your Dad took you out muggle-baiting based on aesthetic principles?”

Vince beamed back. “Yeah, he’s a bit of an embarrassment really. Soon gave it up when “You-Know-Who” found out he’d been moonlighting as a muggle singer; that’s how we ended up living in the enchanted forest, on the run from “You-Know-Who” he explained cheerfully, adding fingered speech marks to appease Howard. “Anyway, muggles are dead useful, you should see some of the threads they’re rocking these days – years ahead of our lot! I’ve seen stuff that would make Madame Malkin’s crap an oven”.

Before he could attempt to comprehend what he’d just said, Vince blurted into another tirade.

“And what’s his problem with muggleborns anyhow? He’s just jealous because they actually have skintone and bone structure. I mean, I remember what he looked like and he was rough” he gesticulated, his hand sweeping exaggeratedly through the air. “He just needs a new look. Too much contrast, that’s his real problem”.

Howard wasn’t sure how much Vince had grasped the gravity of situation, but he felt sure that Vince had at least disagreed with what You-Know Who on a basic level, which was as much as he could hope for.

“Fancy another brew?” Howard asked, getting up from the low couch with some effort.

“Nah, I think I’m going to visit Fortescue, see what he’s up to. I quite fancy some ice-cream now” Vince said, finishing his tea.

“I’m afraid he’s missing too” Howard answered, watching the expression on Vince’s face from joyful expectancy to grudging disbelief.

“You what?! He owed me 4 galleons too. Ah tits Howard, where am I going to get cheap whizz from now?”

Howard turned away towards the kettle and smiled. Things might be horribly uncertain in the wizarding world, but at least he didn’t have to face the grimness alone.


End file.
